Numbers...

It seems like lately our lives have been consumed by numbers. When we got the call about Elijah, we were told he was born at 30 weeks and 2 lb 6 oz. As we looked at making our 1st trip to see him, I thought about the 270 mile/ 5 hours trip. My mind also jumped to the money we going to have to pay to the adoption agency, how much gas costs, and what the hospital bills would be like.

Eli is almost 6 weeks old! When we are visiting him, I'm constantly watching his monitor, especially his oxygen saturation. If it gets below 85 I'm holding my breath & silently praying for his little lungs. When we are not there, I call to check on him twice a day. These conversations are filled with numbers. How much does he weigh? How much formula did he take by bottle? What is his oxygen setting at & has he had any periods of desaturation? I sincerely hope the nurses understand I'm not crazy, just concerned. 270 miles is a long way and I pretty much feel helpless.

We've gone through the 'going home' criteria...more numbers...with nurses. Only thing we are waiting on is a date, and that's all up to Eli.

In the past 3 days, there has been a shift in my mind. The numbers are still there, but now there questions swirling around also. What is it going to be like when he comes home? Am I going to be able to take care of him? What if he has to come home on monitors or oxygen? If he comes home early, are we going to have everything ready (considering right now we have a crib, dresser, highchair & a few small items/clothes)? Are we going to be able to raise the rest of the adoption/legal fees? Am I going to be a good mom??

This last question stands out a little more today. Today-4/26- my mom would have been 60 years old. I think her absence has made this process & these questions a little more overwhelming & scary. I have an amazing family & wonderful friends, an awesome husband & a loving God. I am truly blessed and I trust I will be taken care of. I just look at the past few weeks and how our life has changed.

I think about the incredible gift we have been given. But to be honest, I'm still a little scared. I hope & pray that the next couple of weeks will go smoothly. But if there are bumps or numbers that aren't great, I know our new family of 3 can make it through anything!

-Meagan

Oh, if you haven't gotten a few copies of the Lullaby CD now is the time. Each copy sold reduces our final costs. Order as many as you like! www.indieheaven.com/artists/russellmartin 

Do you like our facebook page? Go to www.facebook.com/lullabycd and click "like."

Want to know what we're talking about.. Check out these other posts about our adoption process.

A video update- With special footage of the "Bored Song"

Meet Eli for the first time.

When the whole process began

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Cds Update Now 23 Left To Go!

Almost one week ago I wrote about needing to sell 50 more CDs, to raise enough money to post our adoption profile. I am glad to report that many of you purchased CDs and now we are only 23 Cds away from our goal.

Our hope is to have this all ready to go by the first of the year. That means we have 9 days to sell 23 Cds. If you break that down it's a few more than 2 Cds per day.

When I wrote the songs for the CD I had in mind a lullaby CD for infants. Many people though have written me back since purchasing it saying that their kids, and teenagers have "stolen" their CDs to listen to. One church uses some of the instrumentals for altar times. Teachers are playing it in their classrooms.

Since my last update I have been contacted by two churches who want me to share my music and our adoption story with them. From the beginning Meagan and I said that one of our goals, one of the reasons we have started this blog is so that through sharing our adoption journey, we can be an advocate and encourager for other couples wanting to adopt. I am so thankful for these upcoming opportunities.

So I hope that you will do three things. 1. If you have not yet, buy the CD. 2. Consider having me come to your church, class, group or meeting to share my music, lead worship, and talk about our adoption journey. 3. Pray for us, couples considering adoption, birth moms making the choice to put their child up for adoption, and all those friends and family members supporting those on all sides of this process.

Dear Baby #2: Praying and Preparing

Dear Baby,

Preparations are under way even though we don't know when you will be here. We want to be ready. We do have a room picked out. It's right across from our room so you'll be close. We've already chosen some colors.. brown and green I believe. We even have had some toys, rockers and other stuff donated too.

We did our home study. That's where someone checks out us, and our house to make sure it's ok for you to come live with us. Oh and we went to the doctor who ran tests to make sure we are healthy enough to take care of you. We are still waiting on some results but it seems everything is going fine. We also have to wait a little while for some paperwork and such to get done, but soon we will be putting our profile for your mom to see. Once that happens it could be any time.

So until then we are waiting and praying. We are praying for your mom's health and the choice she has to make. We're praying for you too. And don't worry, we aren't the only ones praying. There are so many people who are praying for us, and for you too.